


Saving Grace

by GabyU07



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, I just need him to be happy for a moment, he fucking deserves it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:21:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26240302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GabyU07/pseuds/GabyU07
Summary: Itachi was beginning to think he was going insane because there was absolutely no way he was being visited by people who were long gone.
Relationships: Uchiha Fugaku & Uchiha Itachi, Uchiha Itachi & Uchiha Mikoto, Uchiha Itachi & Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Itachi & Uchiha Shisui, Uchiha Itachi/Uchiha Izumi
Comments: 5
Kudos: 40





	1. Izumi

**Author's Note:**

> Itachi is my favorite character of Naruto, there’s something about him I just can’t help but love. So of course, I’m sure I’m not the only one who wanted him to have a better ending than just...dying. I mean he spent almost half of his life alone and being hated by the person he loved the most, is simply not fair. 
> 
> Anyway, enough of that rambling. I will tell you right away this is my first time writing Itachi and I’m very sure it could have been waaay better but to me he’s such a complex character, I just can’t fully understand him. Either way, I hope I didn’t completely ruin him. 
> 
> This should be about 5 or 6 chapters long if everything goes as I planned. I think that’s all, thank you for reading this nonsense and I hope you enjoy it. Don’t be afraid to tell me what you think!

Anger

Pain

Remorse

Grief

Guilt

Those were feelings he was familiar with, after all, he felt them every waking moment of his life but he was just good at ignoring them. Any other person would have committed suicide at this point after having to deal with it every day, but he was not an ordinary person, he was an _Uchiha_. He was what his father raised him to be: a man of a strong facade, stoic face and steeled heart; who bottled everything deep within him and showed no emotion no matter the situation because pride always came first. That is the way his father taught him to be and simply the way the Uchiha handled themselves. Besides it was not like he had any other option having in mind he was an S-class criminal and belonged to the most feared terrorist organization. He could not afford emotions anymore.

And he was fine with it because he knew that everything that led him to be where he was in that moment, everything he had done, was done for the greater good: for his village, for his little brother, for _peace_. All was done so they wouldn’t live another unnecessary bloodshed, so his brother could live his life, one without worry, despair and death at every corner; and if that meant for him to shed the blood of his own family, to sacrifice himself, to give up his honor as a loyal shinobi and to carry all those consequences alone, then he would gladly do it in silence and with a mask of serenity and cruelty on his face.

Of course his actions did not come cheap, after all, he was indeed _human_ and therefore he _felt_ things, he was not a psychopath and he had enough blood in his hands to bathe himself in it…but he had to ignore it or it would eat him alive. So he grow used to silence his feelings and emotions and replace them with a calm demeanor, used to restless nights plagued with nightmares of the things he had done, used to look the other way when it came to his morality and beliefs, all this so they would not break the facade of the cruel bastard he had forged for himself and give him away. And despite his disgust towards himself, he was quite _good_ at it.

With each passing year, it got easier. Easier to cheat and betray, to manipulate, to kidnap and even easier to _kill_. He just had to ignore it and keep telling himself that it was necessary. However, this particular night proved him that no matter how much he pushed his emotions aside and buried them deep within his heart, it would be at the end, a futile effort. And it was actually a special night, since it was the first time he had seen Sasuke since that horrible night. But being who he was, of course that reunion could not happen in a happy way, no, it had to be filled with him torturing his little brother _again_ and beating him senseless, to end up with him fleeing.

 _‘_ _What a pathetic sight_ _’_ he thought bitterly as he silently closed the door of the room. His eyes were burning and throbbing with the pain of unshed tears that were threatening to spill down his cheeks, his hands were slightly trembling and he could not concentrate, but the worst of all was the sickening feeling of a void in his chest that would not let him breathe properly no matter how much oxygen he inhaled, there just was not enough to fill his lungs and allow him to calm the pain that screamed from every part of his soul. He faced the room, his back at the door as he tried his best to keep at bay the tears, his lips pressing together so hard that they formed a white thin line in his already pale face just to stop the sob that was making its way up his throat.

He was starting to feel sick at the show he was pulling off in that moment. He could not afford break downs like this because he would not cry, he just _could not_ cry for Sasuke or _them_ , he did not deserve to do such a thing, it would be hypocritical of him to do that after everything that happened. He had to go through all of this hell: endure the pain of living with what he had done, remember their faces and smiles, hearing their screams and seeing their blood on his hands and clothes every night when he could not sleep, watch the tears fall helplessly down his little brother’s face. This was his punishment and the last part was to be delivered by Sasuke, he deserved nothing more.

He was about to make his way towards the bed, when he noticed something move under the covers, more like someone. He was not alone. _‘_ _How did I not notice that?_ _’_ he mentally scolded himself for being so careless. He knew he should have done something by now but he could not bring himself to move, for whatever reason, all he could do at the moment was observe. The person got up from the bed and took a few hesitant steps towards him before stopping in front of the window, where the dim light from outside allowed him to see a familiar face.

“Itachi?”.

Her voice was soft, worried, but just like he remembered. Her brown hair was loosened up framing her delicate face and those brown orbs of hers were looking straight into his soul. It felt like blow to his stomach. Standing there was someone whom he thought he would never see again, someone who was supposed to be dead. He should know that because he was the one who killed her.

“Izumi”.

It was not a question, it was more of an statement. It was her, there was no doubt, but there was something different. She looked his age, the age she should have been if he had not killed her. Of all nights, why did it have to be this particular one? Whoever was doing this, was certainly dead. But then again, he had never shared his life with anyone after he left the village, no one knew about Izumi. So, _what was she_?.

Before he could finish processing what the hell was happening, she closed the distance between them and lifted her hand to cup his face. He could not help but lean into her warm touch and close his eyes for a second. He should be doing something: dispelling the (most likely) genjutsu, slicing her throat with a kunai, pulling out his tantō, just _something_. But whatever this was, whatever she was, it felt so real and in this moment he felt so helpless that he just did not care. He did not care if this was a genjutsu or a dream, whatever it was he would just take it while it lasted.

“What are you doing here?” He asked softly without opening his eyes, scared that she might not really be there if he did.

“You are not okay”.

He allowed himself to smirk. “I have not been okay for a while”. He opened his eyes to meet with her worried ones.

“This is different”.

She stared at him for a moment before putting her arms around his neck and pulling him in a hug. “You do not have to put that mask with me” she whispered in his ear.

He could not move and he was beginning to have trouble breathing. Those words, in that particular moment, they were too much, and he just could not take it anymore. All the cracks in him gave in, all the pain from today of having to hurt his little brother and simply everything he had felt until now came crushing on him like a bunch of rocks on the top of his chest. A painful whimper escaped his mouth as the tears began to run freely down his cheeks, he lifted his arms and embraced her tightly, fearing that she might disappear from his arms right there.

She held him as he cried in her arms holding onto her like she was his last lifeline. She pulled away and cupped his face with her hands, wiping away the tears that kept falling down nonstop with her thumbs. Then she took his hand and guided him to the bed.

“It’s okay, everything is okay” she smiled gently pushing a string of his long hair behind his ear and then caressing his cheek before pulling her hand away.

“No, it is not” he muttered, his eyes fixed in hers.

“Itachi...”

“I just came back from sending Sasuke to the hospital” He said more calmly than he expected despite the few tears that were still spilling from his eyes and the anger the thought provoked in him.

“He…I am sure he will be okay” She hesitated.

He sighed. “Sometimes I think it was a mistake”.

“What?”.

“Everything I did Izumi” He said looking straight at her soul.

She bit her lip. “Everything you did, it was the right choice for everyone, you know that”.

“Even when it meant to kill my family? My own clan? I-“.

“No” She cut him off. “What you did, was the best choice for everyone Itachi, if not the only one at the time”.

“How can you be so sure?” He inquired staring at her.

“Because if you had not done that, then the Uchiha blood would not have been the only one on the streets of Konoha but the blood of the entire village...along with yours and Sasuke’s, maybe even more” She said firmly staring back at him and grabbing his chin. “That would have been worth it then?”

He was usually a man sure of himself and his actions, since he analyzed everything with deep care and precision, choosing always what in his humble opinion was the better option and had the less casualties. But sometimes, he really could not help to think that maybe he was wrong, that he made the wrong choice. Then as he registered his brother’s name, that thought grew bigger in his mind and made him angry again.

“And _this_ is better? How could that be the best choice when all that has come from it is suffering and pain for the only person I have left that I love and care about?” He shot back looking at her, his voice getting slightly louder for a second.

She was taken aback for a moment by his sudden burst but then her expression filled with determination under his intense gaze.

“You are right with that” she stated clenching her jaw. “Your choices made him suffer and continue to do so, making him feel things he should not be feeling, making him focus only in his hatred towards you and pushing everyone and everything else aside even if all you did was out of love for him”.

He rarely felt like a child in his life, but suddenly he felt like one being lectured about all the things he has done wrong. He knew all that, he saw it at first hand every time he checked on Sasuke and even more today, but to hear it like this, all laid out and out loud, it was yet another blow to what he had carefully planned. It made him wince.

“But” she continued before he had the chance to keep beating himself up. “That does not mean he will not understand why you did what you did when he learns the truth”.

“He can not. He _will not_ ”. A menacing tone in his voice and deadly glare in his face, but she did not seem to mind it when she just smiled quietly to herself and shook her head.

He frowned. “What is so funny?”.

“You have always been this oblivious, don’t you?” She said fixing her eyes in his and putting a hand in his chest. “The universe does not let kind souls go without love, Itachi. Whether you want it or not, he will find out the truth about you and the love that still lives deep within him, will resurface again”.

Hope is not something he could believe in anymore, if he ever did it at some point. But in that moment, despite the protests coming for his rational side, he wanted nothing more but to _hope_ she was right about that.

“Thank you”. He mumbled and looked away, an uneasy feeling forming in the pit of his stomach. She was being so kind to him even when the time they had shared in life was not what he would call something extraordinary, especially not coming from him since at that time he had other things in mind and he did not treat her with the same sentiment as she did to him. _And besides..._

“Izumi I killed you...” He began still not looking at her, unsure of how to continue. “How can you not hate me?”.

 _Silence_. He was starting to regret saying that but then he took a deep breath and turned to face her. To his surprise, she was smiling at him with nothing more than love in her eyes. ‘ _Why?_ _’._

She seemed to realize that he was struggling to understand why she was being like this with him. She closed her eyes for a moment, breathed in and opened them again reaching his face with her hands. “Itachi...you killed me, yes, but before that you allowed me to live the life I have always wanted. You gave me happiness in my final moments and for _that_ I thank you”.

“But that does not erase the fact that I still killed y-“

“I understood then and still understand why you did what you did Itachi, and I do not blame you” She put her finger in his lips to quiet him. “You want people to hate you, you want _me_ to hate you right now, but all my heart has ever offered you is love”.

She hesitantly leaned forward and captured his lips in hers. At first he did not know what to do, he did not expect her to do that but then slowly, he closed his eyes and melted into the kiss, longing for the peace and comfort her lips assured him. After a moment, she pulled away.

“We are proud of you, you know” She smiled at him still cupping his face, tears beginning to form in her eyes. “Your parents, Shisui, all of us are proud of you”.

“You should not be...” He clenched his jaw. Fresh tears wanting to form in his eyes at the mention of those names.

“But we are. You are so strong Itachi and we love you so much”. She continued as she sweetly caressed his cheeks.

“I do not deserve this” He whispered looking away.

“What you did not deserve was to carry the responsibility of an entire village upon your shoulders while just being a child”.

Before he could say something, she pulled his head into her chest and hugged him tightly. “I hope someday you realize the merit you have Itachi Uchiha, but until then all I can tell you is that I love you and there is nothing that will change that” she said softly planting a small kiss at the top of his head and stroking his hair.

As his mind repeated those words again and again, he finally did what he had not done in all those years of solitude, and let it all out. He cried away all of his anger, grief, pain and guilt with every tear that was soaking her shirt, holding onto her until he drifted into a calm sleep for the first time since he could remember, still embraced by her arms. He knew he did not deserve this, to be able to sleep without nightmares or to be held by someone who loved him so dearly, but he allowed himself to feel safe and have the certain that she would not let him fall apart. 

_At least just for tonight._


	2. Shisui

There were times when he truly hated what he had become and tonight, was one of those times. He had just finished his mission of delaying Team Kakashi so Deidara and Sasori could capture the Kazekage and seal the one-tail. Technically, it was not really him fighting them but a body-double, but it was the same thing because _he_ was the one deciding what to do and controlling everything. And one of those decisions was to torture that hyperactive blonde who claimed to be Sasuke’s best friend.

He _hated_ having to do that. To be honest, he held Naruto in high esteem, because at the end, all the kid was trying to do was to repair what _he_ had done to Sasuke. So after torturing his little brother and then having to also torture his best friend, it was safe to say that Itachi was not exactly thrilled with what he had done. He felt like scum for taunting Naruto with his failures in protecting Sasuke and the ones he cared about. He did not enjoy doing any of this but he knew he did not really had a choice, he just _had_ to keep going.

He entered the room he was staying in and instantly felt another presence in it. Whoever it was, certainly chose a _really_ bad day to mess with him. Faster than most of the more talented shinobi, he was in the blink of an eye, behind a dark figure who was slightly leaned against the window. He held a kunai to the figure’s throat, hard enough to cause a minor cut and draw a little blood out of it.

“Who are you?” He said in a deadly low tone.

Much to his surprise, the figure just _chuckled_. This distracted him for just a second but in that instant, even faster than he was, the visitor grabbed the arm Itachi was using to threaten him and flipped him over his head, making the latter land with a loud thud on the floor. Then he proceeded to put a knee on Itachi’s chest and grasp both of his arms, pinning them to the sides of his head. Being in this position…was embarrassing, to say the least, and it did not help that this person was still laughing, louder now. _‘Who the hell is th-‘_ but Itachi could not finish his train of thought as the person above him spoke.

“Geez Itachi-kun, should I feel hurt because you did not recognize your favorite cousin?”.

_‘What did he say? Cousin? Itachi-kun?’._

In that moment, his attacker leaned down just enough so the little light coming through the window lit his face, revealing his identity. _‘This can not be true, is impossible’_ he thought in shock as he felt his eyes widening. There, hovering above him with his cheeky smirk, dark eyes just as his own, and unruly curly raven hair, was…

“Shisui?” His voice was barely audible but Shisui managed.

“The one and only” He grinned.

Itachi’s mind stopped working for a second. His cousin, his _dead_ cousin, the one who had jumped off of a cliff after giving him his remaining eye, was now basically sitting on his chest, _looking_ at him somewhat amused. He quickly shook his shock off him and a menacing glare took place on his face. He pushed Shisui off of him and jumped at him, another kunai in hand aiming at his throat, but despite his speed, he only managed to hit the empty floor. He hastily turned around but he could not see Shisui anymore. He got up and before he had a chance to even take a step, his cousin was behind him with Itachi’s tantō pressing at his neck.

“C’mon Itachi-kun, I was the one who taught you _that_ , remember?” He said smugly.

“You are going to die for _daring_ to use his face” Itachi hissed.

Shisui sighed and let Itachi go. As soon as the latter was free, he immediately activated his Sharingan, determined to make the impostor suffer from doing something as stupid as to use his best friend against him. However, although seeing the threat in his cousin’s eyes, Shisui remained unfazed.

“You know that does not work on me right?” He inquired, activating his own Sharingan to make a point.

Upon seeing this, Itachi could not stop the gasp that left his mouth. “What are you?”.

“It is not polite to ask those things Itachi-kun” Shisui fake scolded him.

Itachi stared at him unamused.

“You seriously need to work on your sense of humor cousin” He shook his head in defeat.

“Who are you?” Itachi tried again with less patience.

“How come you did not question Izumi this much?” He asked, then he seemed to think about it better. “Or questioned her _at all_?”.

Unconsciously, Itachi took a step back. “How do you know about that?”.

“Because she told us?” He sort of questioned at the end as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Itachi’s mind registered two things wrong with that sentence: The first one was that it was impossible for Izumi to have told him _anything_ since he was sure _that_ night was just a figment of his imagination, provided by his tortured and exhausted mind. The second one was when he processed the word “us”. Despite himself, he felt his mouth utter the biggest question that wandered his mind in that moment.

“Who is _us_?”.

Shisui rolled his eyes. “Who else do you think?”.

Since Itachi did not supply any sort of answer beyond a blank look, Shisui just sighed and gave him back his tantō.

“Your parents and I, of course”.

‘ _Fatal mistake’_ Itachi thought as he snatched his sword from Shisui’s hand in an instant and pressed it against his throat, sharingan activated and a warning tone in his voice.

“You are _lying_ ” He said dangerously through gritted teeth. “I will give you one more chance to tell me who you are before I end your life”.

Just like before, Shisui remained calmed, kind of amused if anything. He raised his hands in a sign of surrender and a hint pain crossed his eyes before it quickly disappeared.

“I was hoping not to get to this but I guess it is necessary, knowing just who _you_ are” He sighed before continuing. “The last thing I did before jumping off a cliff was give you my Mangekyō Sharingan and tell you to protect the village as well as the Uchiha name”.

Itachi felt the ground disappear from beneath his feet and the air leave his lungs. There was not many times where Itachi Uchiha was left surprised by anything but today was apparently an exception as shock was written all over the face of the raven haired man.

“Shisui?” He mumbled stepping away from him.

Shisui just nodded and went to sit on the chair by the bed, while Itachi just stared at him, his mind refusing to believe what his eyes were seeing. But even when his instincts screamed at him not to be fooled by this, his heart desperately wanted him to be real, he missed his best friend. Slowly, he sheathed his tantō and warily made his way towards the bed, sitting on the edge of it.

“Long time no see cousin” Shisui smiled, but this time it was a sad one.

“Why are you here?” He asked glancing at him, still not fully convinced.

“It seemed to me like you were having a hard day”.

Itachi looked away, shame washing over him. “So you know”.

It was not a question but an statement. Shisui knew everything he had done to Naruto and his team today, and if he knew that, he probably knew all the things he had done until this very moment. He blanched. He never wanted his cousin and best friend to see what he had become, to see the monster and traitor he was now. Guilt took over him as he reminded himself he was supposed to carry Shisui’s will but all he did was ruin everything.

“Indeed I know” Shisui said calmly.

“You must be disappointed at me, I can not blame you”. He refused to meet his cousin’s eyes.

After a minute of silence, he dared to look at Shisui, only to find him staring back at him in disbelief, then he shook his head before speaking.

“Why would I be disappointed in you?” He inquired gently.

Itachi furrowed his eyebrows. “I could not carry out what you asked from me. I sullied the Uchiha name with what I did”.

It was the truth. Shisui had asked him to protect the village and the Uchiha, and while he succeeded in protecting the former, it was at the cost of the latter. He annihilated his entire clan and stained their name when he betrayed the village, something that was only furthered by Sasuke’s actions, when he too deflected from the village and joined that vile snake of Orochimaru. Now the Uchiha name was nothing more than the name of traitors, and it was _his_ fault. So he could not really blame Shisui if he was disappointed or even if he hated him.

“You truly believe that, don’t you?” Shisui narrowed his eyes in contemplation.

Itachi was puzzled at this point but the sense of remorse was stronger. “I do and I am sorry”.

Shisui expression shifted to a serious one, something that still managed to unsettle Itachi despite of the years that had passed. But there was something else too, and if he did not know better, he would say it was guilt.

“No Itachi, I am the one who is sorry” Shisui said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Now Itachi was confused. “What?”.

Shisui sighed. “I am sorry that I put such weight on your shoulders and then left you alone”.

“Shisui you-“

“Yes, I asked you to protect the village and the Uchiha name, but I was too naïve to think both could be saved” Shisui pulled his hand away.

Itachi clenched his jaw. “Both could have been saved, there is always another way but I-“.

“Yes, there is always a way and maybe there was another way where both could be saved but at that time, it was the only thing you could have done to avoid a civil war and maybe even the beginning of a fourth great war” Shisui interrupted him.

Itachi knew his cousin was just trying to make him feel better, and part of him really wanted to believe him, to believe that what he did was the right call, a flawless plan. But the more time passed, the more he thought he could have done things differently, could have done things _better_. He clenched his fists.

“Still, there are more things I could have done to prevent many others”.

“Not even the prodigy Itachi Uchiha is perfect you know, despite what others would like to think” Shisui chuckled.

“Shisui…” Itachi shook his head.

“You did what you could cousin. You saved the village…even if it costed us the clan”.

Shisui was tense and Itachi could tell that by just looking at him. He knew how Shisui felt towards the clan and how loyal he was to it, and it was not as if Itachi himself was not, he just did not held them so high, acknowledging there were more important things than his clan’s interests unlike basically the rest of them, whose pride always came first. So he knew that saying that was rather difficult for Shisui.

“You do not really believe that”. It was not a question.

Shisui smiled bitterly. “Actually I do. You know, I always forgot the fact that you were years younger than me”.

Itachi scowled. “What does that have to do with this?”.

“When I left you on your own, I knew you were strong, you have always been Itachi, even than most adults were at the time, but you were only thirteen years”.

“So?”.

“You were just a kid!” Shisui said kind of exasperated. “Hell, even _I_ was still a kid, a teenager. We were not supposed to be carrying the future of a clan, let alone of a whole village, but we put that weight on our shoulders”.

“We were capable-“.

“Aa, yes, we were prodigies and ahead of our age, but kids nonetheless. We lacked life experience and neither our clan not the village elders wanted to acknowledge that” Shisui cut him off.

Itachi just stared at him, processing everything that his cousin was saying. His most stubborn side wanted to refuse what Shisui was saying but his rational side just knew he was right. ‘ _But still’._

Seeing that Itachi was not saying anything, Shisui spoke again. “You did what you thought was best and the only choice at the time and I could not be prouder of you”.

“But”.

“Like I said, you managed to save an entire village while just being a child and even did what not most adults would dare to do” Shisui paused, thinking about what he would say next. “I knew you would walk a dark path…I guess I never imagined it would be this one. I just hope you can forgive me”.

Itachi was dumbfounded but he recovered soon enough. “There is nothing to forgive Shisui”.

Shisui smiled at him, one of those smiles of him that usually made Itachi feel like everything was going to be alright. They stayed in comfortable silence for a while, enjoying each other’s company.

“He will be alright, I’m sure Naruto will understand” Shisui said confidently after a while.

Itachi was startled by the sudden change of subject, momentarily not knowing what Shisui was talking about, then it hit him. Today’s mission and him torturing Naruto and his friends. He grimaced.

“Understand what?”.

“Why you are doing what you are doing” Shisui shrugged.

“He will not know my reasons Shisui, neither him nor Sasuke” Itachi said flatly.

Shisui just chuckled at his best friend’s stubbornness. He was just clueless.

“Sooner or later everything will come out to the light my friend, whether you want it or not” He said crossing his arms behind his head and closing his eyes.

Itachi could not help but notice the similarities between what Shisui had just said and what Izumi told him the other night. For some unknown reason to him, they seemed to believe that the truth behind everything he had done would be known to rest of the world.

“Do you know something I do not Shisui?” He questioned suspiciously.

Shisui smiled and leaned forward him, then with two fingers, he poked Itachi’s forehead.

“I know a whole lot more than you can even imagine my dearest cousin”.

Itachi rolled his eyes but allowed himself to genuinely smile at Shisui. It had been quite a while since he did so and it felt good. He let his cousin’s words wash over him and reassure him that what he did was the right choice. He felt lighter having his best friend by his side.

_Even if it was just for one night._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just like it was my first time writing Itachi, this is my first time writing Shisui, so I can only hope I got him right. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it and tell me what you think! See you on the next chapter!


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